Hi Friends, Happy Monday! Did you have a good weekend? On Saturday, Chris and I went to pick out cabinetry for our new place, as well as bathroom tile. It was both sort of fun but also kind of overwhelming and stressful. Not to mention this was our 3rd time picking these things out. (We make up our minds, and then the options change). I briefly alluded to our moving drama a while back, and I’ll fill you guys in on the whole story later.
We also went out to celebrate our friend Meredith’s birthday! We went to Ludlow Liquors, Lost Lake, and Moonlighter – all places I’d never been before. I guess I spend all my time in the Loop, West Loop, River North, and occasionally Wicker Park. I need to branch out more!
Today, I wanted to bring up an interesting topic…what are you ok and not ok discussing with your friends?
My girlfriends and I tend to be very open with each other. Thinking about it, we talk just about anything, and we feel comfortable asking each other very personal questions, asking for advice, and offering our honest thoughts.
Among my friends, we talk about personal problems, family drama, relationships, dating, marriage, breakups, politics, body image and issues, health struggles and much more. However, there is one thing my friends do not talk about. That we never ever discuss.
Salary.
It’s almost surprising if you really think about it…I know the most intimate details about my closest friends (like who they’ve slept with or how much they weigh) but I don’t know how much money they make. Not a single one of them! This is the case in all my different friend groups.
That’s not to say we don’t discuss our careers/jobs/side hustles and personal finance topics in general. We talk ways to save, investments to make, sales to watch out for, and congratulate each other when new jobs and promotions happen. But we NEVER talk actual numbers.
Do I want to talk about it? No. It sounds like it could be really awkward.
But why is it awkward? Would people get jealous? Maybe people feel bad if they make more? Do we assign worth or determine self-value by the amount of money we make?
There appears to be interest or curiosity in the matter. Have you seen Refinery 29’s Money Diaries series? Anonymous women who have various salaries and live in various cities are asked to track their spending for a week. It’s incredibly interesting to read, probably because it appeals to the nosiness that lives in most people, haha. But I have to admit, when I do read it, I sometimes find myself thinking judgmental thoughts about how others manage their income.
Should this topic be less taboo? Is it a cultural thing? Could we benefit in our careers and possibly help to close the wage gap if there was more transparency?
I suppose it probably wouldn’t help me to know how much my doctor friends are making. But would it be useful for my marketing/advertising friends to discuss this? If we find out that there’s a huge discrepancy, would it make people upset? Or would it spur them to look for a new job or give them the confidence to ask for what they deserve?
I would love to hear your thoughts! Do your friends talk about money? Is there a topic that’s off the table in your friend circle?
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