Happy Friday Friends! As promised in last week’s post announcing my pregnancy, I’m going to dive in a little more about my first trimester. (I’m currently in the second trimester, 15 weeks). Originally, I thought I’d do one big first trimester recap post, but it started getting kind of disorganized. So I thought I’d start off by answering some questions, and follow up with a post later, detailing my health/diet/experience at the doctor’s, etc.
Here it goes!
Was your pregnancy planned?
Yes, it was! I know that might come as a surprise to some readers given that I wrote this post earlier this summer, questioning how people know when they’re ready to have kids. Maybe it was because of that post, but I got some comments about how my pregnancy announcement was shocking.
How did you know you were ready then?
Um…we’re not still sure that we are, but we’re embracing that. I received some helpful feedback from readers who are parents, and they basically all said the same thing. “You’re never really ready. There’s always SOMETHING you could check off your list.” But here’s where the advice diverged. Some said “just go for it,” while others said “make sure you travel more first,” or “finish graduate school!”
Chris and I have been talking about kids and when we should have them since before we got married, and he’d been getting antsy about getting started. Again, we’re not old-old (I’m 30, and Chris just turned 32), but Chris’s parents had him when they were 23, and he just loves the idea of being a young(ish) dad. I had a whole laundry list of things I thought I was supposed to accomplish first, but we agreed to consider everything more seriously after our Australia trip in April.
So this is what happened. I want to be truthful with you guys, but also hope I don’t offend anyone who might be struggling. As you guys know, I am a huge worrywart, and I started panicking that I might not be able to have kids. Panicking is putting it lightly – I really started freaking out/getting anxiety over it. Even though I had no obvious reason to worry, I know way, way, way too many people who are battling infertility, or have dealt with it in the past, and it is truly heartbreaking. These women and men are so strong and brave, whereas I don’t know if I am, and I was completely terrified of going through what they’ve gone through.
I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and it was just a matter of when. Yes, I wanted to go to Italy, and yes I wanted to move first, but some of my plans just didn’t sound so important anymore. So, to be entirely honest, my fear is what drove me to decide that I wanted to try soon. Either we’d get lucky, or at least we’d know.
We feel so, so fortunate, and beyond grateful. I don’t mean to share my story to hurt anyone, and I’m nervous that someone will read this and think “oh, she’s rubbing it in, that it worked for her.” I just want to be real about my experience, because there are probably other women out there who are worried about timing and their biological clocks as well.
I felt really alone when I was trying to weigh having a baby with my life/career goals. Most of the people I know in real life fall into the following categories: don’t want kids ever, don’t want them for a long time and aren’t worried about fertility, would like to have kids but aren’t in a place in their lives to even entertain the idea, knew they wanted kids immediately and had them, or want kids but are experiencing trouble having them. I didn’t know who to talk to.
Wow, I wrote a lot. To sum up this question – the short answer is that we decided to go for it, and we feel very lucky about the outcome.
How did you find out?
Knowing that it was possible that I could be pregnant, I decided to avoid drinking. About a week before my period was due, I went to happy hour with my friends, who immediately noticed I was just having water, haha. I spent the rest of the evening with them, sticking to water and food, while the girls indulged in champagne, wine, and later, margaritas the size of their heads. The next morning, I woke up feeling hungover. My first inclination was to think that we stayed out too late at happy hour, but then I remembered…I didn’t drink anything! This feeling didn’t get much better, and I thought maybe I was coming down with the flu or something. I was headache-y, tired, and I felt warm. (This was Thursday).
By Saturday, I still didn’t have the flu, but I also didn’t feel better. I wondered if I could be pregnant, even though those weren’t the symptoms I was expecting. So I took a pregnancy test. Negative. I told myself that I needed to wait until I had at least missed my period, which wasn’t due for days. But on Monday morning, I woke up feeling so “hungover,” I caved and took another one. And it was positive.
What was your reaction?
It was actually super calm. I thought to myself, “Ok, I’m pregnant.” And then I started getting ready for work, brushing my teeth, etc. And then I thought “WAIT WHAT?!” The line was rather faint, was I seeing things? The test I took a few days earlier and the one from that morning were from First Response. So I took one from Clearblue. And there was a VERY clear line. (Now I wonder if I took the Clearblue test Saturday, if it would have showed).
As the day went on, I got more and more excited. With a few intermittent spells of “are we ready for this???” And a few internal freak outs about whether I had been eating healthily enough.
How did Chris find out?
Immediately, I started trying to figure out how to tell Chris. He had already left for work, and I didn’t want to text him. We rarely meet for lunch (due to the nature of Chris’s job) so if I randomly asked if he could meet later in the day, he would have known something was up. I had to wait until Chris got home from work and the gym to tell him in person.
Before we even decided to try to have a baby, I had started thinking about fun ways to tell Chris one day. Later that morning, I ordered a little onesie that said “Guess What?” from Amazon (here), and used same-day shipping. But then as the day went on, I started worrying that it wouldn’t arrive in time, since the estimated delivery time was “by 9pm.” So on my way home from work, I stopped by Old Navy, and picked up a few cute baby socks, just in case. I also picked up a digital pregnancy test from Walgreen’s so I could test again. When I got home, I started tracking the package online, and it said it would arrive 15-20 minutes after Chris got home. And the digital test was positive.
When Chris got home from the gym, I tried to act super normal. We made plans to take some blog photos, but I said we needed to wait until a package arrived with some things I needed for the shoot. I watched my app like a hawk…the driver was 2 stops away, 1 stop away, then DELIVERED!
I picked it up from our building’s mailroom, and put the onesie in the Old Navy bag, along with some tissue paper. Chris was in our bedroom when I got back, so I casually said that I stopped by Old Navy, saw some things on sale, and picked up something for him. He said “Oh cool, thanks!” and took the bag. He reached in, looked confused for a second (he later said it felt like a t-shirt, but was too light to be a t-shirt), and then pulled out the onesie and stared at it. Then his face broke out into the biggest smile I have even seen. “You’re pregnant???!!”
What was Chris’s reaction?
Chris was super excited and so happy! He couldn’t stop smiling. I told him all about my day, and showed him all the tests I had taken. (They were in plastic bags). We got serious for a little bit and actually did take some blog photos. And then we went out to dinner to celebrate. Chris immediately started saying “good morning,” “good night,” and “I love you” to the baby. He’s the cutest.
Did you tell your family and friends?
Yes, pretty much right away. At dinner, we talked about telling our families and our friends who we see/talk to frequently sooner rather than later. We went back and forth about this for a bit, but ultimately, even though we knew the risks of miscarriage are high in early pregnancy, we figured we’d tell our family and close friends if we ended up with bad news, so we might as well go ahead and share the good news. Also, I hate keeping secrets – it’s exhausting!
We tried to call our parents after dinner, but they didn’t pick up since it was late. I facetimed my sister Lily, and she was so excited, she cried! We got a hold of our parents later that week, and I ended up telling a lot of my friends a few days later when we had talked or saw each other.
Are you finding out the gender?
Yes, and we already know! We found out at 10 weeks, because we opted to do a blood test (on me, not the baby) that also identifies some chromosomal disorders. In case you guys haven’t been able to tell, I like to know things and I’m not a huge fan of surprises (other than like, surprise, you get to leave work early today! Those are always nice). Chris also was dying to know – he said “I wish we knew the gender now!” within a minute of me telling him I was pregnant.
We’ve told a lot of people in person already, but I’m hoping to do a fun little social media reveal after we have our 20 week 3D ultrasound appointment. (The blood test is apparently very accurate, but JUST in case).
Have you thought about names?
Yes, and we have a top contender that we’re 95% sure about. We have talked about this name for years, but recently, Chris started worrying that it is too common. In the meantime, we’ve nicknamed the baby, Small Bean. (This is because our nicknames for each other are Pal or Small Pal). I’m pretty sure we’ll be using “Small Bean” until the baby is born, and if we get too used to it, maybe even a little longer. Poor kid!
Alright, that’s all for today! Thank you all for reading and for your support! Have a great weekend, and I’ll be back with another post next week. If you have any more questions, let me know!
